Friday, October 15, 2010

Ninja Move

I've discovered that I have ninja-like senses.  At the beginning of the school year I freaked a kid out because I heard his whispered (correct) answer to a question I asked.  I told him I had ninja ears!  Well, yesterday I found out these skills now also include ninja sight.

I was working for a music teacher that taught choir at three different schools.  Although my music skills aren't a zero, they are definitely far from a ten.  I was at the last school of the day: a junior high school that I do not particularly like.  I only taught concert choir there, and I had already taught  the lesson to another class; I figured it shouldn't be too bad.  I somehow made it through the fifteen minute teaching activity while constantly asking the students to stop talking with their neighbors. 

After the lesson, I thought the rest of the class should be a breeze since I was showing a movie.  A helpful student turned all the lights off which happened to drown the room in almost complete darkness.  Turning off all the lights was a mistake.  This classroom was extremely large.  The room was really two rooms with a large partition that was open creating one huge room.  My class was sitting at tables with tiered seating on one half of the classroom which faced the other half of the classroom.  The other half had a small stage with curtains partially hiding the stage area.   The movie hadn't even been going for five minutes when I saw the faint outline of a white coat heading toward the stage and behind the curtain.  At that time I decided to ignore the escaping student and I would take care of the deviant in a few minutes.  A minute later I saw another student's outline heading for the stage.  I knew I had to bust them now.  I quietly walked over to the bank of lights, turned on the row nearest the stage, and illuminated two girls crawling up a ramp that led behind the front curtain.  It was a complete deer in the headlights kind of moment.  They froze and slowly looked at my stern but devious face.  I simply said, "Principal's office.  Now."  They knew there was no escape.  They stood up, grabbed their belongings, and left to go to the office.  Then a third culprit, the one in the white coat, came out claiming she was trying to bring them back to the class.  "That is not your job.  You can now join them in the office."  She grudgingly followed the other students to the Principal's office.

I am now pretty amazed at my ninja sight.  I just happened to notice their shadows at the right moment.  It also made the rest of the class on their best behavior for the rest of the class period.  I kind of hope I don't get ninja scent next though because junior high boys are awfully smelly.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Kids Say

Over my time as a sub, I have heard some pretty amazing things from the wide variety of students I've taught.  The following are some of the more hilarious quotes and stories from children of all ages.  Some stories include my thoughts at the time in italics.

Jr. High boy upon walking into the class and seeing a sub: What's your name?
Me: Mrs. Snyder
Boy: Aww man, she's married.

After explaining my name and who I was to a kindergarten class, a five year old with total sincerity: "Excuse me, Mrs. Spider, I have a questions.
In the student's defense, I did tell them that some students in the past had joked that my name sounded like 'Spider.'  I did however have a hard time refraining from laughing at the five year old.

High School Algebra Student: Mrs. Snyder you're the coolest sub ever!
Me: Why is that?
Student: Not only do you knit, but you also read XKCD!
This was quite possibly the coolest compliment ever.  Some times I worry that the older students will think I'm stupid or a complete dork for knitting.  If you have never read XKCD, you should go HERE!

The same day as XKCD guy:
Female Student: Subs are scary!
Me: Why is that?
Student: If you walk into class swearing a lot they look at me funny.
Me: Do you routinely come into classrooms swearing?
Student: Only on test days, or days we get tests back.  Or. . . yeah, pretty often.
This was after I heard XKCD guy tell me I was so awesome.  I was a little deflated to hear that I was not only cool, but also scary.  I think this made me ego inflation/deflation ratio for the day hit even.

Ninth grade students were in the computer lab starting a rough draft for an essay.  A small group had been talking a lot and laughing throughout the period.  I looked over about half way through the period and wasn't sure whether the girl was laughing, crying, or both.
Me(thinking I was being funny): Did someone poke out an eye?
Crying Girl: Yes!  I stabbed my eye with my pencil.
Well, it really is all fun and games until. . .

The next few quotes need a little explanation.  In elementary school there's that time at the end of the day where everyone gets ready to go home, does their clean-up jobs, and clears their desks.  As a sub, I never know how long this will take and usually make sure to give a little extra time for this just in case.  I wouldn't want anyone to miss a bus or anything!  So, when the students are ready to go and there's a few minutes left I play, "Ask Mrs. Snyder."  The rules are simple: I let the students ask me any question they want as long as it's school appropriate.  I get a lot of the same questions like "are you married," "How old are you" (always followed with a don't ask just anyone this question), and "what's your favorite color."  Sometimes I get really awesome questions or exchanges with students like these:

"Do you like cheese?"
I couldn't figure out how this student KNEW I liked cheese.  I'm pretty sure I'd given no indication of my cheese love affair.  Perhaps the student was psychic.

Student: Can you do magic?
Me: Well, sometimes I try to accio the remote control, but it hasn't worked yet.  I also have a wand in my purse that is also a pen.  That's as magical as I get.

and my all time favorite:
Student: Do you like clothes?
Me: Well, I like clothes in the sense that I don't like to go around naked.
Student: Some people do!
WOW!  A student that already knows about nudist colonies.  I am impressed at the thorough education these students are getting.

I'm sure I"ll have a whole plethora of new quotes to share soon.  It's things like this that makes coming to work fun.

Monday, October 11, 2010

FIRE!

It finally happened.  I finally subbed for a class during a fire drill.  Well, not exactly a "drill."  There was not a scheduled fire drill, but sometimes strange things do happen.  I had made it successfully to fourth period without any major mishaps.  Technology was even obeying my every command today.  It really was too good to be true, and I should have expected that something big was going to happen.  I was half way through the class and the students had just settled into their assigned reading.  Then one loud beep.  There was a pause and I thought the alarm was just a mistake.  Then there was a second loud beep.  After two or three more intermittent beeps, the alarm began to wail in earnest.  Now it was buzzing with regularly accompanied by the blazing flash.  I tell the class to exit the building and follow protocol which I'm sure they've been trained to follow. 

I quickly look around the room searching for the emergency backpack, bucket, or whatever else I may have to bring me.  I spot a backpack on top of a bucket in the corner near the door and ask the nearest students which I'm supposed to take with me.  After a few varied answers the students seem to come to the conclusion that I only need to take the backpack.  I grab it, the attendance sheets for the class as well as the clipboard hanging above the backpack that looks important and follow the flow of students outside the building.

I shuffle through the pages of the clipboard hoping to find more detailed instructions as I follow the crowd around the building.  This would be the one day I didn't look for emergency procedures in the sub folder.  I locate the list of teachers and where they line-up on the football field and hear from the students around me that everyone is supposed to go to their second period class for attendance.  I locate a class roster and continue around the building wondering just how far the football field is from my classroom.  Turns out, all the classes on my side of the building have to go around the school, around  two sets of portables, down a path and into the football field which is behind the school.  I find my class on line number eight and ask the first student if everyone is in alphabetical order.  She informs me they don't have to line up in alphabetical order and that the teacher just marks them off the list.  I didn't bring a pencil.  I can't believe with all the stuff I grabbed I didn't get a pencil.  I finally find a student with one to borrow and go down the line asking all thirty kids what their name is so I can cross them off my list.  Turns out it's hard to hear names when 500 people are talking.  People also have a tendency to give you their first name when asked their name which is hard to find on an alphabetical list.  Somehow I make it through the list and find all my students and figure out to show the green sign instead of the red sign on my clipboard to show the administrators that the class is all here.

After a few minutes, I get the word that students should return to their fourth period class or lunch depending on where they were before the fire alarm.  On my return to the classroom I hear that the kitchen in the cafeteria was remodelled and an overly-sensitive smoke detector was put in an often smokey part of the kitchen.  This apparently wasn't the first false alarm of the school year.  I got all my students back to their classroom and somehow got them settled back into their reading for the last ten minutes of class.  Overall, I consider my first fire exercise to be a success, though I hope I'll remember a pencil next time.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

It's All Coming back

For those of you keeping track (just me, I think) I have now logged over 100 days substituting.  I feel proud.

Now for the real part.  For some reason, I keep getting jobs teaching Math.  Even a lot of my recent elementary days seem to have the "big" lesson for the day be the math lesson.  I am proud to say that besides my current AP calculas job, I've been able to remember how to do maths (I decided to be British for that sentence because saying maths is fun)!  My high school math teachers would be so proud.  I've remembered how to plot points on a coordinate plane.  I've remembered how use alternate exterior angles to find out how big other angles are.  I think I've even managed to correct mistakes that some students were making on their homework.  I think I even missed doing proofs in geometry earlier this week (Given!!).

Now, I'm relatively sure that I'm not wanting to turn in my English degree and pursue the life of a mathematician (though "A Beautfiul Mind" does make that look fun).  I am just excited that I am at the point where I'm comforatable teaching almost anything.  I really don't worry that much about presentation anymore because usually I just know what will work.  I can relax and have fun with the lesson.  I made a roomfull fourth graders giggle as I taught them about decimals by usuing money.  Although I occasionally have the I've-never-done-this-so-don't-ask-me class (like today), I still feel confident that I'm not going to regrett my decision to accept that math teacher position.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Search Programs

I've been meaning to do a blog on sub job assistance programs for some time, and I am finally getting around to it today.  Last spring I described to you how the internet sub system called AESOP works.  After a few weeks of spending hours and hours on the system waiting for something to come along I thought there must be a better way to work the system.  I was actually just googling the system looking for more information about the program when I discovered that there are several companies that offer downloadable assistance to finding sub jobs.  The basic program will refresh your page every few seconds and makes some sort of sound to alert the user that a new job is available.  Each system, though, is slightly different in how the execute this search.

Jobulator
Jobulator is the official program that works as a peripheral with AESOP.  It is made by the same company that creates AESOP so it is designed to work seamlessly with the program.  With jobulator you download a widget onto your desktop that makes a ringing sound when it detects a new job.  You can then enter your pin onto the widget and it will accept the job.
Benefits:  It is created to work with the system.  They also offer a 30 day trial and you pay $40 for a years subscription.  
Drawbacks:  Jobulator has to be enabled by your school district which unfortunately mine has not.  It also does not have monthly subscription price.  If you get a teaching position or longterm sub spot, you're pretty much out the money you paid for it.

Assignment Assistant
With Assignment Assistant you download a file which logs you into AESOP and refreshes your page as often as you set it (I set mine for every 7 seconds).  When it detects a job, a voice echoes "Hello!" excitedly for  about 15 seconds.  The best part about this program is that it automatically accepts the job for you, even if you're not right next to the computer.  You can also set your computer to only accept jobs that match specific criteria.  After I got the system down, I set mine to only accept full days and to not accept special education jobs.
Benefits: Automatic acceptance and the ability to filter jobs through preferences.  They have a montly fee of  9.95 so you're not stuck if something comes up.  As I understand it, this program is developed and maintained by a current substitute teacher, so he knows the system and what people want out of it.
Drawbacks: It only works with Internet Explorer (which I hate!)   And although they have good customer service, the developer e-mails everyone almost every day about the program.  I got a little sick of everything clogging up my e-mail.  I've also heard from some people that it didn't always accept jobs based on preferences.  It also rejects jobs that don't match your preferences so you can't go back and accept them later.  Also, because it works by refreshing your browser you get an annoying click every few seconds.  It didn't really bother me, but I know some people don't really like it.

SubJobSearch:
This program seems to run along the same lines as Assignment Assistant.  They seem to have a few different features though.  They do have where you can set up preferences for schools, times, and even teachers that you do and do not want to work for.  The other thing they offer is an automatic start up time.  Their example is you can set it to start looking at 4AM and their alert will wake you up if they found a job for the day.
Benefits: Even more control over what jobs you accept.  It seems to cost $25 for the year (though it's a bit confusing by the website).
Drawbacks:  They don't offer a trial period.  Reviews I've read from other people said that their customer service was terrible and that they're a bit cocky about their program.

Sub Sidekick
I just found this one at the beginning of this school year.  They offered a free 30 day trial so I took it.  This program also runs via widget.  It starts automatically when you start your computer and searches AESOP ever 30 seconds.  You can also set the program to only accept jobs for specific time durations, schools, and to include or exclude pretty much anything you want.  This program automatically accepts jobs as per your settings.  One day I just let my computer run while I was at another job and came home to three new jobs already lined up!  I also like that you can set it not to reject jobs that don't perfectly match your descriptions.  It will also alert you whenever there's a job available on your system whether it matches all your preferences or not.  You can also set it to send you an e-mail or text your phone when it detects jobs.
Benefits: I found this program a lot easier to use than Assignment Assistant and I haven't gotten one e-mail from them besides the "you got a job" e-mails.
Drawbacks: It's price is 9.99 a month which isn't terrible, but also isn't cheap.

I haven't subscribed to a program yet and I'm not sure if I will.  It's been really nice using sub sidekick the first few weeks as I wait for the sub season to pick up again.  I might pay again during the slow months just to make sure I still have jobs.  Right now I really can't afford a luxury like this and I'm not sure it's worth it when I CAN find jobs on my own, just maybe not quite as easily.  I'm hoping really hoping that my substitute networking is going to pay off.  I already am going to work two days for a friend this year!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The First Week

School has been in session for a week now, and I already have stories!  I've been blessed to find half day jobs for every day but the first day of school so far (more on this blessing in a future blog).  My first day I was covering for a teacher who only needed to leave for an hour but by contract the sub has to have either a half day (3.5 hours) or full day (7 hours) of work.  So, I bounced around to a few different classrooms performing odd jobs to help several different teachers.

My second day was very similar.  I taught two periods for an orchestra teacher and showed films to both classes that the students were uninterested in.  It made for two very long hours.  After the classes, the office was supposed to put me to work but they had nothing for me to do.  I spent the extra hour and a half reading.

Yesterday (Tuesday because of the holiday weekend)  I again read in the teacher's lounge for an hour and a half due to a lack of busy work.  Then I taught two periods of junior high English.  I had a fabulous discussion with the 7th graders about what makes good writing.  After explaining that showing in writing is always better then telling, one student asked if that meant film was better then books.  I then engaged the students in a conversation about how film and books were very different mediums and each did different things better than the other.  We then played a rousing descriptive game where each member of the class had to describe part of their "dream car."

Today I had a job teaching at a special school for performing arts and reasoning.  The teacher I worked for teaches English, social studies, and performing arts.  Today I taught two performing arts classes that were a blast.  I led the class in warm-ups and led them through several dance exercises.  At the end of the day, the teacher was interested in my endorsements because she is having a baby in the spring and needs a long term sub.  She was very excited that I have a theatre endorsement as well as the English endorsement.  If all goes well, I'll get a few months teaching in the same classroom.  There are a few hiccups that might get in the way, but I'm very hopeful that this will work out for next spring.

I've got a few more jobs already scheduled for the next few weeks.  I'm very surprised and grateful that I acquired so many jobs so quickly.  I'm hoping the rest of the year is just as fruitful as these first few days.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Here it Goes again

Well ya'll, I'm back.  It's been a. . . kinda boring summer.  I wound up with minimal employment so I tried to keep my time occupied by working on my wedding scrapbook and other pursuits.  But the school season is now upon us, or at least almost upon us.  Tomorrow is the first day of school for my school district.  I'm very excited and have spent the last few days getting ready.  As is usually the case with me, things did not quite go as smoothly as I expected.

I noticed that sometime during the summer, my account with the sub system had been locked out.  At the time I was not alarmed, assuming that perhaps the system gets locked during the summer when the district isn't using it. I was worried though when my account was still locked up a week ago.  I had also sent the sub coordinator an e-mail a few weeks ago with my new address and phone number.  I specifically asked her to send me an e-mail back saying when/if she would change my phone number in the sub system because that would change some of my log-in info.  Two weeks later I still heard no reply.  I finally phoned her office yesterday to find out if I had missed some bit of valuable information or was I going to be out of a job for the next year.  I was lucky enough to get the actual HR person in charge of the sub system and she was able to get everything working again for me.  Apparently  there was a letter that went out about continuing employment that was somehow missed in my move. She also never received my e-mails.  I'm not sure where they got lost in cyber space because I double checked after our phone conversation and the e-mail address definitely was hers.  Either way, there was no permanent damage done and I am not gainfully employed for the coming school year.

I'm very excited for the coming year in that I found out several of my friends received permanent teaching positions with the district.  I told that to let me know if they get sick or need a vacation.  I am also determined to try networking and trying to get more requested jobs this year.  I didn't try very hard at to make connections as a sub because I was only planning to sub just the half of the year.   I had business cards made to leave teachers so they will hopefully call me for their subbing needs.  I also have a few more ideas to help get the sub ball rolling.  For now, I'm just waiting for the first job to show up on my screen.