Last Day

Today was the last day of school, and I was lucky enough to have a job!  I was asked weeks ago to teach for my former cooperating teacher because she had made plans for the end of the school year before they had to add a week of snow days to the end of the school year.

It was so strange back in the room where my teaching career started almost three years ago.  I remember coming to meet her for the first time.  The school librarian (who happens to have the same name as my husband:) took me through the halls to her classroom.  I was nervous, but very excited to start my last step to finishing college and getting my teaching degree.  I have been back to that classroom several times since finishing student teaching.  Each time gives me  little sense of nostalgia remembering the times where I would be sitting at the back desk every day.

Appropriately, today was the moving up ceremony celebrating the ninth graders (ninth grade is the top of jr. high in this school district).  It was an hour of speeches, awards, and performance by several talented students (included a boy who demonstrated escaping from a straitjacket!)  Most profound to me was the loan faculty speech from one of the math teachers.  She asked students to think of all the pictures they have with strangers dotting the background.  She explained how you don't know how many people might have a picture with you in the background.  That each person at the school has witnessed incredibly moments of victory and sorrow often only as background characters.  You cannot always be in the spotlight and sometimes have to be in the background.  Yet our choices in the background can still have a profound and lasting impact on those around us.  Every day we can encourage or damage someone through our simple words and actions.  These small things add up to say more about who we truly are as individuals then are actions and words when everyone is watching.

These words truly resonated with me today.  I have spent the last year and a half as a background support character in the school system.  At the end of the day, there were no students that wanted to give me a hug and wish me a good summer.  No yearbooks to sign, no pictures or presents waiting for me at my desk.  There was just me, making the conscious decision to teach the best I could and be the best positive influence in student's lives for the day.  The journey was never easy, but I did meet a lot of amazing people along the way and hopefully made some people feel welcome and heard.

In true end-of-the-year fashion, I do want to say thanks to a few people.  Although they will probably never read this, it still doesn't hurt to put these good wishes out into cyberspace.  Thank you to all the teachers who trusted me enough to request my presents in you classrooms.  I'm not sure why you picked me over the dozens of more qualified substitutes (I mean you, 7th grade science teacher!) but I sincerely appreciate feeling like a little part of your classroom.  Thank you to the students that recognized me when I walked your halls from past sub assignments.  Although I rarely could remember your name, your recognition meant the world to me in a very thankless job.  Thanks to the teachers who welcomed me into your conversations in the teacher's lounge and to the teachers that helped me when technology, lesson plans, or other strange acts of failure would arise.  You are the people that make me feel like a real teacher and miss being part of a supportive staff.

Thanks to my husband, who continually told me how amazing and awesome I am even when I didn't feel like I deserved it.  You love, support, and encouragement has made these long months seem worth it.  I can't tell you how much your words have meant to me and helped me after difficult days.

Finally, a thanks to you dear reader.  It's nice to know that someone is reading this and many of you understand the trials of a difficult job.  Thanks to the comments and general well-wishes and  support throughout this last year and a half.  To the strangers who have read and even subscribed (hi Amy!) I feel honored that you would take the time to read my silly words.  This will likely be my last blog as I am leaving the country to work teaching English in Japan (a new blog is coming as soon as I know where I am placed!)  As I will no longer be a substitute, my chronicles are finished.